Are Antidepressants Addictive?

Dear Tom,

My doctor has advised me start taking an antidepressant. She tells me they are not addictive but I don’t understand how they can’t be. If you rely on a drug to be happy, isn’t that a form of dependence?

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Self-Motivating When Stuck

Dear Tom,  OK, I’m convinced I’ll start feeling better as soon as I start doing something. In fact, I’ve always known this, and I know exactly what I would do. I would start cleaning up my place, and walking. It’s so simple, except for this: I can’t do it. I just don’t have the motivation to move off the couch. How do I get past this?
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Why Can't Depressed People Just Move On?

Dear Tom,  I have never experienced depression. It’s not that I have a charmed life; in fact I’ve had more than my share of hard times. I don’t understand why more people can’t simply pick up and go on like I manage to do. I also wonder if our conjuring this great specter we call depression, and talking about it all the time simply builds it into a bigger problem than it needs to be.
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Time-Effective Therapy

Dear Tom, Why wouldn’t I want some intensive, ongoing therapy, which will instill change on a “deeper” level?
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  Deciding on Antidepressants

Dear Tom, How can I decide whether to take an antidepressant medication?
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What is Bipolar?

Dear Tom,  I’ve just been told I have bipolar affective disorder. Just what does this mean?
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Unsupportive Partner

Dear Tom,  I get into uncontrollable crying spells and my husband blows me off. He refuses to comfort me and he hides behind the newspaper. Sometimes he ridicules me. My friends tell me to leave him but that’s not an option. What do I do with this guy??
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Is my fear normal?

Dear Tom,  I have a fear of all the suffering and death I see around me. I watch the news, with all the war, starvation, crime and death around us, and my thinking reels. I feel completely powerless to protect my family and myself. What do I do?
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How can I control negative depressing thoughts?

Dear Tom,  I’m feeling so crummy these days. When I’m at my lowest, the negative thoughts start to take over and I feel like a goner. Any suggestions? I’m stuck at home with a disabled spouse.
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Am I a patient, or a client?

Dear Tom,  I hear some therapists referring to their clients and some refer to their patients. What am I?
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Improving my relationship takes so much energy

Dear Tom,  My relationship has needed a lot of help for a long time, and I’m tired. If I had the energy to do just one thing with my partner to pull us out of our nosedive, what should I do?
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I'm overwhelmed with being a mom and wife

Dear Tom,  I’m married and we have two year-old. My day starts at 5:00 when I get up, make my lunch and go to work. I pick up our son on the way home. Then I clean up breakfast, run the laundry, make supper, wash dishes. All at the same time I’m keeping our son entertained and getting him ready for bed. My husband comes home from work and watches TV. He says his job is so hard; he’s too tired to do anything else. The weekends aren’t a lot different. By the end of the day I’m so depressed. I wonder if I should ask my doctor to change my medication. And this is not what I thought my life should be like. I’m so confused!
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Does grief come in stages?

Dear Tom,  Several years ago I survived a devastating divorce. With the help of therapy and a support group I came through some pretty heavy depression. Now, I’m happy to have a new mate in my life and we’re talking about getting married. Here’s what’s weird: suddenly I find myself crying about my old divorce again from time to time. Is this normal?
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I don't enjoy anything, what can I do?

Dear Tom,  I get no kick out of anything.  Is this part of my depression?  I know it’s a drag on my family, but how can I be expected to do things if there’s no satisfaction in it?
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Should I leave my alcoholic wife?

Dear Tom,  I cannot bear my wife’s alcoholism any longer.  If I stay I’ll perish.  But if I leave her I’ll be in the financial pits.  And, I still love her so much.  I’ve been to an Al-Alon meeting but it doesn’t seem to help.  Most of my friends tell me to leave her, and my family tells me to stick it out.  What do I do?
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Is this grief or depression?

Dear Tom,  I have just completed my divorce.  I was depressed leading up to this, and while I thought I would experience relief, I feel worse.  It’s like I’ve been knocked down, gasping hardly able to cry.  My friend told me I’m grieving.  But I grieved when I lost my parents and it was nothing like this.
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Should I feel so guilty about my aging parent?

Dear Tom,  I take care of my ailing mother, and I’m very willing to do it.  One problem though, is that she expects more than I can provide.  I know that if I give her all the time she wants from me, her life would be better.  On the other hand, mine would be worse, and by a larger proportion –a net loss between the two of us.  She cannot recognize this, and her expressions of sadness at the neglect she experiences makes my want to cry.  I am plagued by guilt.  What can I do?
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Post-traumatic stress relief

Dear Tom,  Can you explain to me why it helps with post-traumatic stress to revisit the upsetting event or scene?
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Help! My mother-in-law lives with us...

Dear Tom,  I’m so stressed and irritated.  I live with my husband, our kids and his mother.  The problem is she is too hard to get along with.  She pesters and criticizes me constantly.  I try to be polite sometimes I just blow up.  I don’t want to upset my husband but I’m afraid some day I’m just going to pack up and move out.  How can I keep myself calmer?
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